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New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Pros And Cons Of Electric Cars

With technology improving and more automobile companies releasing electric models, electric cars are becoming a common alternative for American consumers. Here are the pros and cons of electric vehicles.

How Amazon Plans To Expand

After years of rapid growth and expansion into new industries, Amazon recently announced that it would be opening a second headquarters outside of Seattle. Here are Amazon’s plans for continued growth.

Report: Americans Now Get 44% Of Their Exercise From Licking

WASHINGTON—Saying the practice accounted for a sizable portion of the nation’s physical activity on any given day, a new report published Tuesday by researchers at the National Institutes of Health revealed that Americans currently get 44 percent of their exercise from licking things.
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Pete Carroll

Coach, Seattle Seahawks

Strengths: Never throws in the towel, even if his team is up by 30 points; Extremely likable to anyone who can’t see through his bullshit

Weaknesses: Probably that he cares too much, or maybe that he works too hard; Hasn’t slept in 18 years; Loss to Vince Young in 2006 BCS National Championship Game looks more and more pathetic every day

Coaching Style: Not afraid to yell “woo” in faces of Seahawks; Attempts to make brutally violent game fun for everyone

Strategy: Going for it

Facial Expressions: Cocky fuck; incredulous prick

Fun Nickname: “Coach”

Recruiting Violations Since Joining Seahawks: Zero

Email: pcarroll1@usc.edu

NEXT: Russell Wilson

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