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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Peter Gammons Predicts He Will Finish Season Lonely And Depressed

BRISTOL, CT—In his 'Looking Ahead In 2006' column on ESPN's website, baseball analyst Peter Gammons said that there will be "no big surprises this year," predicting that he would once again finish the season in the cellar, all alone and unable to let go of the events of the past seven months. "Although some experts are saying I will fold in the hot weather come August, I'm certain I will make it to the playoffs and head into the World Series healthy and excited, as I do each year," Gammons wrote Monday. "But when all is said and done, I am going to end up lying prone on the world champions' clubhouse floor, where I will remain, covered in old champagne and stacks of 2006 box scores, until someone wakes me up next spring." Gammons also predicted that he would have an extremely quiet offseason in which he doesn't make any major moves.

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