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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Peter King Works Terrible Stay At Courtyard Marriott Into Every Component Of Super Bowl Preview

NEW YORK—Sports Illustrated’s Peter King published his lengthy preview of Super Bowl XLVII Sunday, drawing particular attention from readers in large part due to nearly 50 mentions of a terrible stay at a Courtyard Marriott littered throughout the piece. “Taking advantage of the extra week’s rest will be crucial for injured 49ers end Justin Smith—nearly as crucial as it was for me the night before covering two conference championship games in one day, but Lord knows I couldn’t string together more than two consecutive hours of sleep with those paper-thin dividers the Courtyard tries to pass off as walls,” King wrote in the championship preview he broke into six parts: offense, defense, special teams, good luck getting any goddamn hot water, coaching, and intangibles. “There are still a number of questions that need to be answered by 49ers offense and the manager of that sad excuse for a hotel, namely, can they move the ball through the air if the running game is contained and how exactly can you get away with calling something a breakfast when the waffle maker is broken and you’re all out of eggs?” After explaining in detail that giving attitude is a surefire way for bellhops to never earn a tip, King concluded the preview by predicting that the Ravens will win a tight, low scoring matchup and he won’t be setting foot in any Marriott-operated hotel unless “some major Rewards points get sent my way soon.”

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