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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Peyton Manning Cleared To Play Next Season After Passing Verbal Neck Exam

DENVER—Erasing any lingering doubts that he will continue his record-breaking career, the Denver Broncos confirmed Wednesday that star quarterback Peyton Manning has been cleared to play next season after passing a detailed and thorough verbal neck examination. “We were very pleased with Peyton’s ability to answer all questions about the flexion, extension, and rotation of his neck muscles,” said team physician Dr. Grant Kisele, adding that when testing whether Manning had full range of motion, the 37-year-old quickly passed the assessment with an emphatic “yup.” “Peyton’s neck is strong, stable, and shows no signs of damage or muscular atrophy from this past season, and his 2011 spinal fusion has had no ill effects on his arm strength—he said so very clearly.” Team sources also confirmed that Manning is contractually obligated to pass a similar physical over the phone every year for the duration of his contract.

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