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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Peyton Manning Declares He Has At Least One More Surgery In Him

SANTA CLARA, CA—Following his team’s 24-10 win in Super Bowl 50, Denver Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning ended weeks of speculation surrounding his future by announcing Sunday that he has at least one more surgery in him. “I’ve had a long run and been a part of a lot of pretty big surgeries, but I still think I’ve got one more major operation left in the tank,” said Manning, adding that he had deliberated for the past six months with friends, family, and medical specialists before deciding that he wasn’t ready to hang up his hospital gown for good. “Ultimately, I have to listen to my body, but I’ll keep going as long as I can still handle the anesthesia. I just can’t imagine myself never being under those bright lights in the operating room again. I’ll get on the gurney one more time and then ride off into the sunset.” Manning refused to comment, however, when asked whether he would undergo his next surgery in Denver or potentially at a medical center in Los Angeles.

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