adBlockCheck

Sports

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Benny The Bull Busted For Possession Of Unlicensed T-Shirt Gun

CHICAGO—Noting that the suspect had been taken into custody after officers managed to tackle and wrestle the individual to the ground of the United Center concourse, police confirmed Monday that Chicago Bulls mascot Benny the Bull was arrested for possession of an unlicensed T-shirt gun.
End Of Section
  • More News

Peyton Manning Finds Weird Game Film Where Two Detectives Try To Solve A Murder

INDIANAPOLIS—While sorting through his stacks of unwatched videotapes Friday, Colts quarterback Peyton Manning reportedly stumbled across a strange sort of game film in which two detectives, who are apparently not involved in the playing or discussion of football, attempt to solve a murder. "I have no idea why someone would make a tape of this, since it isn't about football in any way whatsoever," said Manning, adding that there wasn't a single defensive formation to analyze in the 120-minute-long tape. "I'm told that people do this with films, and that you can even see this sort of thing on TV sometimes, but I really don't understand how two guys trying to catch the person who killed the heiress is supposed to help someone read tendencies in the Titans' secondary." Manning admitted he had not been this confused by a game film since his wife, Ashley, made him break down tapes of a football player and a woman in a cheerleader outfit engaging in an extended and vigorous, though evidently pointless, tackling drill.

More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close