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OB-GYN Assures Serena Williams Fetus Developing Serve On Schedule

WEST PALM BEACH, FL—Observing that the unborn child was producing the smooth, fluid strokes expected in the third trimester, ob-gyn Dr. Theresa Umbers reportedly assured world No. 4–ranked tennis player Serena Williams at an appointment Tuesday that her fetus was developing its serve right on schedule.

New Report Finds MMA Could Be Bad For Your Knees

LOS ANGELES—Following a 10-year study of more than 500 professional and amateur fighters, a report released Thursday by the UCLA Department of Physiology found that mixed martial arts could be bad for your knees.

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NEW YORK—Pointing out that there was little physical resemblance between himself and the rest of his family, the 10-year-old son of New York Mets mascot Mr. Met told reporters Tuesday that he was beginning to think he was adopted.

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Mom Finds Disturbing Reading Material In Teenage Son’s Bedroom

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Peyton Manning Impersonator Captured After Years Of Endorsing Products

Police apprehended Jerry Borgman this week, a 49-year-old contractor who allegedly appeared in dozens of commercials pretending to be Colts quarterback Peyton Manning. Though Borgman is shorter than Manning and would always refuse to take off his reflective sunglasses on set, he was still able to pose as Manning for at least a year, without being detected by the millions of Americans who saw his ads or purchased products believing them to be endorsed by a Super Bowl MVP.

Psychologist Dr. Todd Priveti explains that Borgman was able to get away with the con for so long in public sight primarily because of the ubiquity of Manning's commercials. "Humans have evolved in such a way to block out ambient noise and other environmental stimuli the nervous system deems unimportant. For most Americans, Manning's droning voice and flat blah face simply faded into the wallpaper."

Here are some of Borgman's most notable hoaxes in his time as Peyton Manning:

  • Borgman's commercials for Samsung TVs ran concurrently with the real Manning's commercials for Sony.
  • Injured his back horsing around with kids in an NFL Cares spot, causing Jim Caldwell to mistakenly put a healthy Peyton Manning on the disabled list.
  • Watched a Giants game with the Manning family at Cowboys Stadium.
  • Manning fined after Borgman shoved a photographer at a Los Angeles-area convenience store.
  • Ducked out of an NFL awards dinner after the real Manning unexpectedly made an appearance.
  • Turned down humiliating Oreos spots with Eli and the Williams sisters, only to see the real Manning agree three weeks later.
  • Started at quarterback in the 2010 Pro Bowl.

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New Report Finds MMA Could Be Bad For Your Knees

LOS ANGELES—Following a 10-year study of more than 500 professional and amateur fighters, a report released Thursday by the UCLA Department of Physiology found that mixed martial arts could be bad for your knees.

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