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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Peyton Manning To Spend Several Weeks With Newborn Twins Before Naming Starting Child

INDIANAPOLIS—After months of preparing for the birth of the new Mannings, Indianapolis Colts quarterback Peyton Manning announced Tuesday he will carefully assess his newborn twins in the coming weeks before he names one of his offspring as the starting child. "I'm not going to rush into this and just give it to Mosely because she has the better build or Marshall because he’s a more mobile baby. They're going to have to earn the job, like I did with my dad," said Manning, who plans to evaluate the children in a series of progressively more challenging drills designed to simulate the actual stress and pressure of being a Manning family member. "This is a process. And even when I choose the starter, there are no guarantees that a kid is going to stay the starting spot unless they prove they deserve it every day." Despite his early optimism for the family's new acquisitions, however, Manning admitted being irritated that the twins keep falling asleep when he reads to them from his playbook.

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