adBlockCheck

Peyton Manning's Wife Tired Of His Constant 'Audibles' At The 'Line Of Scrimmage'

Top Headlines

Sports

Report: Gonzaga’s In Washington, Right?

NEW YORK—Ahead of the team’s first-round game against Seton Hall in the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament, a new report released Thursday revealed that Gonzaga is in Washington state, right?

Teary-Eyed Robert Griffin III Slips On Draft Day Suit Again

WASHINGTON—With several tears streaming down his face as he stood alone in his bedroom’s walk-in closet, sources confirmed Wednesday that former Washington Redskins quarterback Robert Griffin III slipped on the suit he wore to the 2012 NFL Draft.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Holidays

Peyton Manning's Wife Tired Of His Constant 'Audibles' At The 'Line Of Scrimmage'

INDIANAPOLIS—According to sources close to Ashley Manning, wife of Colts quarterback Peyton Manning, the All-Pro's constant audibles on the playing field are mirrored in his intimately personal life, a fact that Mrs. Manning sometimes finds exasperating. "I mean, sometimes when we, you know, 'take the field,' and the 'formation' is all 'lined up,' and Peyton gets all set 'under center,' he will start barking out new signals," Mrs. Manning said. "Suddenly, it's 'Flip Right Hawk 62! Deuce Right, Waggle 15H Throwback C-Posts! Dice Right 218 Bastard! Yes! Yes! Yes!' And I'm like, Peyton, we're at 'third and inches' here, honey. Please, just 'snap the ball.'" Mrs. Manning did note, however, that her husband was a remarkably talented "field general" with a "rifle arm" who "led the league" in "finding the end zone" last season.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close