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Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Benny The Bull Busted For Possession Of Unlicensed T-Shirt Gun

CHICAGO—Noting that the suspect had been taken into custody after officers managed to tackle and wrestle the individual to the ground of the United Center concourse, police confirmed Monday that Chicago Bulls mascot Benny the Bull was arrested for possession of an unlicensed T-shirt gun.

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.
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Phil Jackson Yells At Pau Gasol's Ch'i

LOS ANGELES—Lakers head coach Phil Jackson, evidently incensed over new acquisition Pau Gasol's inability to quickly grasp either Jackson's complicated "triangle" offense or the ineffable fashion in which the universe moves through a man as a man moves through the universe, subjected Gasol's ch'i to a 10-minute tirade during practice Monday. "Do you call that an exultant alignment of the third through sixth chakras? Do you? Huh? Because I don't," an irate Jackson said to Gasol's primal life-energy force, his eyes fixed at a point approximately 10 inches over the bemused power forward's head. "Is that how they reverberate in universal harmony in Memphis? Did you learn to exult to the music of the spheres like that in Barcelona? Because it's the most piss-poor reverberation and exultation I've seen in a while, and I coached Luc Longley." Gasol, shaken, was unable to achieve oneness with the Void for the rest of the day.
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