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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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Phil Mickelson Has Perfect Comeback If Tiger Woods Makes Fun Of Him For Being Left-Handed

AUGUSTA, GA—While warming up for the 2009 Masters Tournament, Phil Mickelson told reporters that he has come up with 'the perfect comeback' to use if Tiger Woods cracks a joke about his left-handedness. "Tiger likes to tease me, but this time I've got something ready for him—and let me tell you, it's a good one," Mickelson said during a press conference as he struggled to stop himself from laughing. "It's not corny or lowbrow or anything, either. No, I spent a lot of time thinking up the best possible zinger, and it's gonna get him right where it hurts. I bet he stops in his tracks and says, 'Ya got me.' And he'll be right, too." The exact nature and phrasing of Mickelson's comeback is not currently known.

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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

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