Phil Mickelson Has Perfect Comeback If Tiger Woods Makes Fun Of Him For Being Left-Handed

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Tiger Woods, Lindsey Vonn Blame Breakup On Hectic Sex Lives

JUPITER ISLAND, FL—Explaining that the pressures of their day-to-day commitments had given them no other choice but to end their three-year relationship, golf star Tiger Woods and Olympic skier Lindsey Vonn released a joint statement Wednesday blaming their breakup on their hectic sex lives.

Terms Of Tiger's Divorce

Former super-couple Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren are making it official with one of the highest-profile divorces in sports. Here's how it will work:

Tiger Woods Announces Return To Sex

PONTE VEDRA BEACH, FL—In an announcement highly anticipated by sex fans around the world, Tiger Woods told a small gathering of reporters, family, and lovers Friday that the most dominant fornicator on the planet would soon return to sex.

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Despite one great come-from-behind tournament win, Tiger Woods has not been the same golfer since returning from surgery. Some signs he's not...

Tiger Woods

Tiger Woods may be the greatest golfer of all time, but how great does that make him?

Tiger Woods Putts Baby Into Diaper

ORLANDO, FL—Tiger Woods added yet another accomplishment to his already outstanding résumé Sunday when the 13-time major winner successfully putted his baby daughter, five-month-old Sam Alexis Woods, into a fresh Huggies...

Tiger Woods Reveals He Is Zach Johnson

AUGUSTA, GA—World No. 1-ranked golfer Tiger Woods, after appearing to struggle through the weekend—playing with uncharacteristic inconsistency, bogeying twice in the final rounds, and breaking clubs—shocked the crowd at Augusta...

Nike's $100 Million Man

Tiger Woods recently signed a fiv-year, $100 million contract with Nike. What are the conditions of Wood's contract?
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Phil Mickelson Has Perfect Comeback If Tiger Woods Makes Fun Of Him For Being Left-Handed

AUGUSTA, GA—While warming up for the 2009 Masters Tournament, Phil Mickelson told reporters that he has come up with 'the perfect comeback' to use if Tiger Woods cracks a joke about his left-handedness. "Tiger likes to tease me, but this time I've got something ready for him—and let me tell you, it's a good one," Mickelson said during a press conference as he struggled to stop himself from laughing. "It's not corny or lowbrow or anything, either. No, I spent a lot of time thinking up the best possible zinger, and it's gonna get him right where it hurts. I bet he stops in his tracks and says, 'Ya got me.' And he'll be right, too." The exact nature and phrasing of Mickelson's comeback is not currently known.

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