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Phil Mickelson Laughs Off 2nd-Place Finish, Blows Brains Out In Car

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How The IOC Plans To Address Doping

In light of its recent decision not to bar Russian athletes from competing in Rio despite their use of performance-enhancing drugs, the International Olympic Committee is working to establish more effective protocols to keep the Games drug-free. Here are some ways the IOC plans to address doping:
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Phil Mickelson Laughs Off 2nd-Place Finish, Blows Brains Out In Car

SANDWICH, ENGLAND—Following another tournament meltdown Sunday, the world’s sixth-ranked golfer Phil Mickelson joked to reporters at the British Open about missing a two-foot putt and making three bogeys on the final six holes before calmly walking to his Ford Expedition, getting into the driver’s seat, and blowing his brains out with a .357 Magnum revolver. “Ha, oh boy, looks like I choked again,” said a smiling Mickelson, who just minutes later removed the gun from his glove compartment, placed the barrel in his mouth, and screamed loudly before pulling the trigger. “Guess I let another major slip away, huh? Ha! Ha ha ha ha!” According to hospital reports, Mickelson was unable to successfully complete the suicide attempt, and although he will live, the damage to his bullet-riddled brain and extremely disfigured face is irreparable.

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