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Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.
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Phil Mickelson Reluctantly Uses Golf Club Kids Made For Father's Day Present

PEBBLE BEACH, CA—In an effort to show appreciation for his Father's Day gift, Phil Mickelson, participating in the final round of the U.S. Open Sunday, reluctantly used a pitching wedge his three children created from a cardboard tube, construction paper, a shoe box, and masking tape. "Oh, boy. I'm never going to get all the glitter out of my golf bag," Mickelson was overheard saying as he stared down a 135-yard shot to the No. 1 green, his children eagerly looking on. "This is going to be a long day." Mickelson then examined the pitching wedge's yarn grip and the grooves drawn on the clubface in magic marker, sighed, set up to the ball, and proceeded to make a 47 on the hole.

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