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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.

Manager Can’t Remember Why He Came Out To Mound

HOUSTON—Visibly irritated with himself as he paced around the pitcher’s plate after calling for time during the fourth inning of their game against the Washington Nationals, Houston Astros manager A.J. Hinch could not remember why he came out to the mound in the first place, sources confirmed Thursday.
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Phil Mickelson Shows Bubba Watson New Grip In Clubhouse Shower

PACE, FL—Saying he could show his fellow golfer a technique that would both "increase his control and allow him to go way longer," Phil Mickelson spent 20 minutes carefully and thoroughly demonstrating his personal grip to Bubba Watson in the clubhouse shower Sunday. "Not too tight, not too loose, see the way my fingers are? You can interlock them, you can overlap them, just not too tight is the important thing. Now swing away," a sudsy Mickelson told Watson, who is known for his trademark pink-shafted drivers, as rivulets of steaming water coursed down their bodies. "It's all in the wrist, let the club head do the work, find the sweet spot.... Yeah...yeah...that's right. You've got it. Beautiful. Uh-huh. Just keep on just like that." Watson later confided to friends that the useful lesson could have been less awkward if Mickelson had brought a club into the shower with him.

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