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Phoenix Coyotes Pretend Homeless Drifters At Greyhound Bus Station Are Fans Welcoming Team Home

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How The IOC Plans To Address Doping

In light of its recent decision not to bar Russian athletes from competing in Rio despite their use of performance-enhancing drugs, the International Olympic Committee is working to establish more effective protocols to keep the Games drug-free. Here are some ways the IOC plans to address doping:
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Phoenix Coyotes Pretend Homeless Drifters At Greyhound Bus Station Are Fans Welcoming Team Home

PHOENIX—Upon returning from their elimination from the Western Conference Finals Tuesday, the Phoenix Coyotes convinced themselves that the homeless drifters occupying the Greyhound bus station were adoring fans waiting to welcome them back. "It eases the pain to see so many fans back here waiting for us, and it looks like most of them were even camping out for a while waiting for us," team captain Shane Doan said, after shaking the outstretched open hand of a mumbling homeless man. "From the sad looks and anguished faces, I can tell how much our loss truly pains these die-hards. Some of them kept saying, 'Please, help me.' All I could say was 'We'll get 'em next year!'" In related news, the conference champion Los Angeles Kings reportedly believed that the people who filled their arena during the series actually cared whether they won or lost.

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