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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Photo Of Masked Gunman Released

'This Was Taken During Halloween,' Says Lisa Gunman

KANSAS CITY, MO—A shocking photo was released to the public this afternoon of a masked Gunman spotted outside a local residence at an undisclosed time. “Okay, this photo was clearly taken during Halloween,” local cashier Lisa Gunman said. “I mean, Christ, I’m wearing a Catwoman costume. Can we cut this out already? I know my last name is Gunman, but this one’s kind of a stretch, don’t you think? It really just seems irresponsible at this point.” State and local authorities had no comment on the identity or whereabouts of the disguised Gunman.

This is an update of a previous story: Police Continue Search For Missing Gunman

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