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National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Pros And Cons Of Electric Cars

With technology improving and more automobile companies releasing electric models, electric cars are becoming a common alternative for American consumers. Here are the pros and cons of electric vehicles.
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Physics Teacher's Car Accident Would've Made Perfect Example For Class

ASTORIA, OR—The deadly auto wreck that claimed the life of local high school science teacher Donald Vaughan, 47, would have neatly and succinctly illustrated the basic laws of classical mechanics to his fourth-period physics class, sources reported Monday. Having struggled to grasp the rule stating that force is equal to mass times acceleration, Vaughan's students would reportedly have been given an elegant case study in the concept were he still alive to describe the way his 1992 Mazda Protégé lethally collided with a large oak tree late Saturday night. Sources also reported that, had Vaughan's students only witnessed their teacher's head separate violently from his spinal cord, they might have finally understood the fundamental idea that an object in motion will tend to stay in motion.

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