Over 75% of an average American's exercise now comes from drunkenly dancing, stealing street signs, and carrying home passed-out friends.
SAN DIEGODuring a press conference introducing him as the newest member of the Padres, Mike Piazza, the 37-year-old ex-Met catcher on the downside of his career, said he "couldn't be happier or more relieved" to have the opportunity to finish his career. "I have to admit, San Diego was always one of my top 30 choices," said Piazza, a free-agent who finalized a one-year deal with the Padres on Tuesday. "I was open to literally any possibility, but in the end, San Diego swooped in and met all my criteria: a contract, a major-league baseball team, and a spot on its roster." Piazza added that, now that his contract is settled, he can start focusing on getting in good enough shape to hit the three home runs he needs to reach 400 and coast to the Hall of Fame.