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The Pros And Cons Of Gene Editing

Recent advancements in gene editing have introduced a number of exciting possibilities for human advancement and raised difficult ethical questions. The Onion breaks down the pros and cons of gene editing.

Tips For Back-To-School Shopping

As kids prepare to go back to school, parents are tasked with providing all the supplies and clothes they’ll need for the year. Here are The Onion’s tips for tackling back-to-school shopping.

Report: Sky Normal Today

WASHINGTON—Informing citizens there really wasn’t anything special going on up there, the nation’s scientists confirmed the sky is normal today.
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Pigeon To Invoke Power Of Flight

DES MOINES, IA—Belying its dull and unimpressive appearance, a pigeon shall, in a matter of moments, summon the power of flight, and climb ever upward to taste the skies. According to sources, no witness to this miracle of nature will suspect the mottled gray Columba livia domestica of such a feat, but after the creature takes to the air, all will liken it to an angel from heaven. After its 11th foot of aerial locomotion, sources report, the pigeon shall return to terra firma to pluck a carelessly discarded hot dog from the fertile earth, at which point it will once more alight to crap on the shoulder of Gary Bentoff, 34.

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