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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Pigeon To Invoke Power Of Flight

DES MOINES, IA—Belying its dull and unimpressive appearance, a pigeon shall, in a matter of moments, summon the power of flight, and climb ever upward to taste the skies. According to sources, no witness to this miracle of nature will suspect the mottled gray Columba livia domestica of such a feat, but after the creature takes to the air, all will liken it to an angel from heaven. After its 11th foot of aerial locomotion, sources report, the pigeon shall return to terra firma to pluck a carelessly discarded hot dog from the fertile earth, at which point it will once more alight to crap on the shoulder of Gary Bentoff, 34.

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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

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