Ping-Pong Rules Adjusted For Girlfriend

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Vol 43 Issue 07

FBI Loses Laptops And Guns

According to a recent report, 160 laptops have been lost or stolen from the FBI, as well as 160 weapons. What do you think?

Drunk Driver In The Zone

STOUGHTON, WI—Alcoholic and car owner Jim Torkleson attributes his "best-ever" 11-mile, 0.14 blood-alcohol-content drunken drive home from...

John Amaechi Comes Out As Former NBA Player

STOCKPORT, ENGLAND—British homosexual John Amaechi sent shockwaves throughout the sporting world last week when he announced, much to the surprise of his family and friends—in addition to NBA players and fans—that he lived a...
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

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  • Sports Drink Company Putting First Advertisement On Moon

    Japanese pharmaceutical company Otsuka has announced plans to put their sports drink Pocari Sweat on the moon in a specially equipped container bearing their logo, which, if successful, would be the first time a commercial product has been flown to the mo...

Technology

Technology Unfortunately Allows Distant Friends To Reconnect

WAYNE, PA—Providing them the tools necessary to bridge a gap that both individuals say they were more than willing to maintain indefinitely, sources confirmed Monday that the advent of modern technology has unfortunately allowed distant friends Mere...

Ping-Pong Rules Adjusted For Girlfriend

EDEN PRARIE, MN—After having won three consecutive ping-pong matches by increasingly wide margins Saturday, David Richter, 27, adjusted the rules in favor of girlfriend Amy Lindon, 28, to avoid another lopsided victory. "I didn't want her to feel bad, and I actually didn't even want to beat her by so many points anymore," said Richter, who let Lindon hit the ball even if it bounced twice on her side, did not penalize her for serving illegally, and on one occasion tripled her overall score. "Toward the end, I was giving her points just for swinging the paddle in the direction of the ball." Richter won 21-7.

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