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Police Find Super-Sharp Buck Knife

'It's The Kind With A Blade That Locks In Place,' Says Law Enforcement Spokesperson

Warning residents that the blade was “super deadly” and “badass,” city police officials held a press conference Wednesday to announce that they had found a really cool wooden-handled Buck-brand pocketknife on the street.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Benny The Bull Busted For Possession Of Unlicensed T-Shirt Gun

CHICAGO—Noting that the suspect had been taken into custody after officers managed to tackle and wrestle the individual to the ground of the United Center concourse, police confirmed Monday that Chicago Bulls mascot Benny the Bull was arrested for possession of an unlicensed T-shirt gun.

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.
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Pistons Discover Allen Iverson Does Not Like To Be Thrown From Moving Car

DETROIT—After a night of bonding with new teammate Allen Iverson, Pistons players reported Sunday that the eight-time NBA All-Star responded poorly on the drive home when they unbuckled his seat belt, opened the door, and flung him out of a speeding car. "As soon as we all tried to push him out of the open door, he was screaming at us, throwing punches, and scratching at our faces," said shooting guard Richard Hamilton, adding that it took three players to toss the thrashing Iverson from the car. "He really hated it. Naturally, now that we know being forced out of a moving vehicle makes him uncomfortable, we won't do it again, but how could we know? When we did it to Rasheed Wallace, he was cracking up as he bounced and rolled down the highway." Hamilton claimed Iverson would react much more positively to the razor blades they hid in the former MVP's shoe.

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