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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Pistons Discover Allen Iverson Does Not Like To Be Thrown From Moving Car

DETROIT—After a night of bonding with new teammate Allen Iverson, Pistons players reported Sunday that the eight-time NBA All-Star responded poorly on the drive home when they unbuckled his seat belt, opened the door, and flung him out of a speeding car. "As soon as we all tried to push him out of the open door, he was screaming at us, throwing punches, and scratching at our faces," said shooting guard Richard Hamilton, adding that it took three players to toss the thrashing Iverson from the car. "He really hated it. Naturally, now that we know being forced out of a moving vehicle makes him uncomfortable, we won't do it again, but how could we know? When we did it to Rasheed Wallace, he was cracking up as he bounced and rolled down the highway." Hamilton claimed Iverson would react much more positively to the razor blades they hid in the former MVP's shoe.

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