Pitt, Aniston To Quietly Separate

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Vol 41 Issue 52

Saturn Probe To Be Biggest Story Of The Year

PASADENA, CA—A mere two weeks into the New Year, already what will undoubtedly be the biggest story of the year will have taken place: the upcoming Jan. 14 landing of the Huygens space probe on Titan, Saturn's immense moon.

Well-Rested Bush At The Top Of His Game

CRAWFORD, TX—Fit, trim, confident in his power base, and above all well-rested following a four-week, three-day vacation at his Crawford ranch, President Bush is currently in the prime of his presidential form, pundits say.

April Comes To A Close

WASHINGTON, DC—Experts at the Naval Observatory report that April, as it has every year at this time since records were kept, is progressing to an end.

Deep Fruit Revealed To Be Charles Nelson Reilly

NEW YORK—The identity of Deep Fruit, the source that brought down a studio audience in the Waterblank scandal in 1973, was revealed to be actor and Match Game panelist Charles Nelson Reilly, in an article published in Vanity Fair today.

Tracking Bush's Approval Rating

In 2005, the nation's confidence in President Bush reached an all-time low. What are the events that triggered the most significant changes in his approval rating?
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Pitt, Aniston To Quietly Separate

A rare photograph of the couple, who have chosen to go their separate ways.

LOS ANGELES—Hollywood couple Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston are quietly separating, Pitt's publicist Cindy Guagenti said Friday. "After seven years together, Brad and Jennifer have decided to separate, without a lot of fuss," said Guagenti in a fax quietly forwarded to major media outlets. "They understand that there might be some level of media curiosity, but would appreciate a measure of restraint, as both are modest and reclusive people who treasure their privacy." Out of respect for Pitt and Aniston's feelings, entertainment journalists have agreed not to cover the story, but Star magazine has published rumors that Pitt might have begun an acquaintanceship with the daughter of a well-known Hollywood actor.

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