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Mom In Nightgown Mode

APPLETON, WI—Noting that the changeover occurred “right on schedule” after she had finished the dishes and watched TV for an hour or two, family sources confirmed Monday night that local mom Linda Rampling had officially transitioned into nightgown mode.

Car Rolls Up To Stoplight Blasting Google Maps Directions

HOUSTON—Attracting the attention of adjacent motorists and nearby pedestrians who turned their heads to see where the booming noise was coming from, a 2006 Ford Focus is said to have rolled up to a local stoplight Friday blaring Google Maps directions.

34-Year-Old Asks For Big Piece

MADISON, WI—Directing the server to the large square in the corner, local 34-year-old Matthew Hinke asked for a big piece of cake during a workplace birthday party, sources confirmed Tuesday.
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Plan 'L' Switched To

BEREA, KY—Plans A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, and K having failed, David Zenger resorted to "Plan L" in his efforts to move an air conditioner from the garage to the house Tuesday. "Okay, here we go," Zenger said to himself. "If I wrap the air conditioner in bubble wrap and then balance it on a basketball, I can spin-roll it into the house." Previous failed attempts to move the air conditioner involved a pair of bungee cords, a bag of marbles, and a bottle of Crisco cooking oil.

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