Plane Delay Leaves Hundreds Whiny

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Meteorologists Say Upcoming Hurricane Season To Be Permanent

SILVER SPRING, MD—Warning residents to prepare for extreme winds, heavy rainfall, and flooding starting in the near future and continuing indefinitely, meteorologists at the National Weather Service announced Friday that the upcoming hurricane season would be permanent.
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Plane Delay Leaves Hundreds Whiny

ATLANTA—A flight-routing error at Hartsfield International Airport delayed the departure of Delta Airlines Flight 387 nearly 40 minutes, leaving over 200 travelers whiny and dozens more pissy. "This sucks," whined Janet Hoesch of Huntington Beach, CA. "What are we supposed to do, just sit here?" Free meal vouchers redeemable at any of the airport's 23 restaurants eased the whining only slightly. "Oh, great, 10 bucks worth of food," bitched Jim Heinrich, one of countless passengers left unappeased by the vouchers. "If they can't get us there on time, they should refund the whole ticket price."