Area Man Unsure If He’s Male-Bonding Or Being Bullied

Perplexed local man Russell Chambliss has no idea if the coworkers seated with him at Malone’s Irish Tavern are attempting to forge a male bond with him or cruelly harassing him, the 26-year-old shipping clerk told reporters Wednesday evening.

What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.
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‘Planet Earth II’ Finale Finally Resolves Will-They/Won’t-They Storyline Between Snow Leopard, Golden Eagle

LONDON—Bringing closure to millions of fans who had breathlessly waited to see whether the two would ever get together, last weekend’s finale of the BBC nature documentary series Planet Earth II finally resolved the ongoing “will they, won’t they” relationship between a snow leopard and a golden eagle. “Everyone spent the whole season wondering if it was ever going to happen, so it was really satisfying when the two animals at long last ended up with each other,” said Entertainment Weekly writer Benjamin Lynch, describing the moment late in the episode when the mountain-dwelling cat and the bird of prey passionately embraced one another on a windswept stretch of the Tibetan plateau. “The chemistry between them was obvious to everyone watching the show, and it was clear that they had strong feelings for one another, but there were still so many times where it seemed like they’d wind up with other wildlife. They’re opposites in a lot of ways—different biomes, different prey—so seeing that storyline resolve so nicely was truly heartwarming.” Lynch added that the episode made up for the widely panned finale of the original Planet Earth, in which the fan favorite green sea turtle was controversially killed off by a spider crab for reasons that were never fully explained.

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