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Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

Infographic: 20 Years Of Netflix

Netflix was founded as an online DVD rental service in 1997 and has since evolved into a subscription-based streaming platform with its own slate of original programming. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the company’s 20-year history.

Musical The Kind With Number About Putting On A Show

TALLAHASSEE, FL—Noting the increasingly animated choreography and behavior of the characters on stage, sources at the Tallahassee Community Theatre reported Friday that this is apparently the kind of musical with a big number about putting on a show.

What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.
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'Planet Earth' PA Still Trying To Get Release Forms From Every Bird In Serengeti

NGORONGORO, TANZANIA—Despite spending several years scouring Serengeti National Park's rolling plains, arid basins, and remote mountaintops, 24-year-old production assistant Rachel Orr is still trying to obtain release forms from every bird that appeared on camera in the BBC's Planet Earth. "It's exhausting work, scrambling from branch to branch hunting for signatures from each three-banded plover, but if we don't cover all our bases, we could end up facing some serious lawsuits," said Orr, attempting to flag down a ruff that was filmed bathing itself for the show's 'Jungles' episode. "It's pretty discouraging when a flock of bustards flies by and doesn't even notice me standing here with the clipboard. But at least I'm not one of the PAs still trying to track down individual fire ants." Orr told reporters she was intentionally saving the elusive magpie shrikes for last since they'd probably be extinct soon anyway.

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