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Plaxico Burress: 'I Am Taller Than The Patriots'

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How The IOC Plans To Address Doping

In light of its recent decision not to bar Russian athletes from competing in Rio despite their use of performance-enhancing drugs, the International Olympic Committee is working to establish more effective protocols to keep the Games drug-free. Here are some ways the IOC plans to address doping:
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Plaxico Burress: 'I Am Taller Than The Patriots'

GLENDALE, AZ—In an apparent attempt to raise his morale and that of his team, Giants wide receiver Plaxico Burress released a statement Monday saying that his own personal 6'5" height was superior to that of the New England Patriots. "I have successfully out-stood every other player in the league when it comes to tallness," Burress' statement read in part. "That is a fact. And I get taller when I raise my arms, and taller again when I jump. The Pats are good, but there is nothing they can do about me in the department of being full-grown." Patriots linebacker Junior Seau responded to Burress' statement by saying that, while Burress was a very tall player indeed and had displayed great height in the past, it remained to be seen whether he was taller than the Patriots defense when they were playing well.

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