CLEVELAND—Explaining that they simply didn’t want to have to deal with the immense time commitment and emotional exhaustion, sisters Katie and Ellen Cattell each privately admitted to reporters this week that they were hoping the other sibling would someday be the one to take care of their aging parents.
GLENDALE, AZ—In an apparent attempt to raise his morale and that of his team, Giants wide receiver Plaxico Burress released a statement Monday saying that his own personal 6'5" height was superior to that of the New England Patriots. "I have successfully out-stood every other player in the league when it comes to tallness," Burress' statement read in part. "That is a fact. And I get taller when I raise my arms, and taller again when I jump. The Pats are good, but there is nothing they can do about me in the department of being full-grown." Patriots linebacker Junior Seau responded to Burress' statement by saying that, while Burress was a very tall player indeed and had displayed great height in the past, it remained to be seen whether he was taller than the Patriots defense when they were playing well.