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Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Can Trump Follow Through On His Campaign Promises?

President-elect Donald Trump made a variety of lofty promises during his campaign as part of a pledge to “make America great again.” The Onion looks at several of these promises and evaluates whether Trump will be willing or able to follow through on them.

Being A Mom Was The Best Four Years Of My Life!

As I get older, I find myself reflecting on my life more often and marveling at what an amazing journey it’s been. I’ve made tons of great friends, been to magnificent places all over the world, and learned so many important things about myself along the way. But if I’m being honest, there’s one period of my life that stands out from all the rest: those four incredible years when I was a mom.
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Playboy Centerfold Has Big Dreams, Tits

Big dreams are a way of life for Playboy centerfold Cyndi Tyler. The 22-year-old Miss January comes from a close-knit North Dakota family of big dreamers. "Since as long as I can remember," Tyler says, "I've been taught that you should dream big, and I do. I have really big dreams."

Tyler also has really big tits. Big tits also run in the Tyler family. Her mother, June, and her younger sister, Stephanie, both sport large, full tits. Tyler's chest measurement is 38 inches, and she wears a D-cup brassiere.

Tyler stares starward and smiles when talking about her dreams. "I want to run my own company one day," she says. "I want to go into marketing and help promote new computer and technology products that are environmentally sound." That, Tyler says, is her big dream.

Tyler's big tits are firm, bouncy tits with just a hint of a tan line left from her favorite Hawaiian Tropic bikini top. She smiles coquettishly and suggestively when cupping and cradling her tits.

Tyler believes in acting on her dreams. "Without a game plan, your dreams are never going to come true," she says. Tyler says she keeps a daily list of small, incremental goals which will lead, slowly but surely, to the fulfillment of larger life goals. "I'm very motivated," she added.

Tyler also believes in caressing her big tits. "I like to soap them up in the shower and massage them, then tease my nipples. Sometimes while I do this I dream of being kissed by my boyfriend." Tyler adds that she almost never caresses her big tits "without a game plan."

Tyler knows that belief in herself can only take her so far. "My family and friends are very supportive of me. They believe in me, and that gives me strength." It really helps me focus on my goals when I know the people around me have faith that I'll succeed."

Tyler enjoys having her big tits sucked and licked by her boyfriend. "When he does that to me, I always seem to reach my goal. Whether it's mild, pleasurable stimulation or all-out orgasm, I know that I'll succeed."

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