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Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.
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Player To Be Named Later From 1992 Trade Finally Named: 'It Was Lenny Dykstra,' Says Phillies GM

PHILADELPHIA—The July 2, 1992 trade which sent Dodgers outfielder Stan Javier to the Phillies for Steve Searcy and a player to be named later was formally completed Sunday, when it was announced that the unnamed player was Lenny Dykstra. "Yup, it was Lenny Dykstra," said former Phillies GM Lee Thomas, who orchestrated the trade 16 years ago. "Probably should have mentioned that sooner." When informed about the trade Monday, Dykstra said he would do his best to help the Dodgers win in 1992 through 1996.

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