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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Players Drink Soda, Wear Sneakers, Drive Trucks On Grueling Day One Of NFL Endorsement Combine

INDIANAPOLIS—The first day of the NFL's endorsement combine ended Friday with draftees performing for marketing scouts in workouts that included shoe-posing, pizza-enjoying, and automotive co-masculinity. "Unfortunately, under the current rules, college athletes aren't allowed to perform endorsements, so this is really our first chance to see them pretending to use and like these products," said Gatorade scout Grant Bonner, carefully studying running back prospect Trent Richardson as he poured a beverage on his face. "We need to see if these guys have what it takes to be able to support a brand for years to come or are just flash-in-the-pan draft busts who can't even fake a conversation with an animated gecko." Bonner added that Gatorade will probably still sign Andrew Luck despite the highly touted rookie pitchman repeatedly calling the company's product a "flavory drink."

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