Players Giddy As Football Hall Of Fame Representative Rumored To Be Attending Super Bowl

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Vol 46 Issue 04

Disney Shutters Miramax

The Walt Disney Company is closing down its indie-film arm Miramax, the home of such films as The Piano and Pulp Fiction. What do...
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TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Good Times

Man Considers Nodding Approvingly After Friend’s Drink Purchase

MEQUON, WI—Seeking to convey his endorsement of his acquaintance's selection at local bar Coney's Draft House this evening, area man Thomas Dodge told reporters that he was considering nodding approvingly at his friend’s alcoholic beverage pur...

Pop Culture

Man Commits To New TV Show Just Hours After Getting Out Of 7-Season Series

UNION CITY, NJ—Recommending that he give himself the chance to pause and explore the other options out there, friends of local man Jonathan Gember expressed their concerns to reporters Wednesday that the 29-year-old is already committing to a new television show just hours after getting out of a seven-season-long series.

Players Giddy As Football Hall Of Fame Representative Rumored To Be Attending Super Bowl

MIAMI—Giddiness overtook the locker rooms of both Super Bowl teams Thursday when members of the New Orleans Saints and Indianapolis Colts caught wind that a representative from the Pro Football Hall of Fame might be attending the game next Sunday. "Oh my God! Are you serious? Are you freakin' serious? I better go work on my out patterns," said Saints wide receiver Marques Colston, who asked his equally excited teammates if they knew where the representative from Canton might be sitting during the game. "It's the Hall of Fame, guys! The Hall of freakin' Fame!" Upon hearing the news, Colts quarterback Peyton Manning reportedly rushed to the team bathroom and began throwing up.

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