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Players, Owners Agree To Have One Last Kick-Ass Season Before 2011's Lockout

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How The IOC Plans To Address Doping

In light of its recent decision not to bar Russian athletes from competing in Rio despite their use of performance-enhancing drugs, the International Olympic Committee is working to establish more effective protocols to keep the Games drug-free. Here are some ways the IOC plans to address doping:
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Players, Owners Agree To Have One Last Kick-Ass Season Before 2011's Lockout

NEW YORK—In an eleventh-hour session Wednesday night, representatives from the NFL Players Association sat down with the league's owners to reach an agreement on their "One Last Big Blast" plan to have the most rocking football season ever before next year's work stoppage. "With the threat of a lockout looming, we just started looking around and it dawned on us: We need to go fucking nuts out there one final time, just score a shit-ton of touchdowns and really kill it with some badass sacks," Patriots owner Bob Kraft said. "America's No. 1 sport may not have a season in 2011, but fans will at least be happy that we just rocked right the fuck out in 2010." As of press time, the only public provision of the "One Last Big Blast" plan is to increase the number of stadiums with pirate ships and functioning cannons by 31 before week 10.

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