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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.

Keys To The Matchup: Packers vs. Falcons

The NFC Championship Game pits the Atlanta Falcons against the Green Bay Packers for the rare chance to play a meaningful game in Houston. Onion Sports breaks down what each team must do to win.
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Players, Owners Agree To Have One Last Kick-Ass Season Before 2011's Lockout

NEW YORK—In an eleventh-hour session Wednesday night, representatives from the NFL Players Association sat down with the league's owners to reach an agreement on their "One Last Big Blast" plan to have the most rocking football season ever before next year's work stoppage. "With the threat of a lockout looming, we just started looking around and it dawned on us: We need to go fucking nuts out there one final time, just score a shit-ton of touchdowns and really kill it with some badass sacks," Patriots owner Bob Kraft said. "America's No. 1 sport may not have a season in 2011, but fans will at least be happy that we just rocked right the fuck out in 2010." As of press time, the only public provision of the "One Last Big Blast" plan is to increase the number of stadiums with pirate ships and functioning cannons by 31 before week 10.

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Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

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