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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Players Rest Up For Grueling Week Of Super Bowl Hype

NEW ORLEANS—Ahead of the much-anticipated matchup between the Ravens and 49ers, sources confirmed Tuesday that players from both teams have been resting up for an arduous week of intense Super Bowl hype. “It’s been a long season and everyone’s feeling weary, but we all need to be physically and mentally prepared for the fierce publicity ahead,” said Ravens safety Bernard Pollard, adding that seasoned veterans like linebacker Ray Lewis are crucial to showing younger players how to properly handle the relentless interviews, commercial appearances, photo shoots, and social media interaction. “There are times when you don’t think you can keep going, but you just have to dig deep and really push yourself to keep talking about how this is the biggest game of your life and how we’ve all fought so hard to get here. We’ll be getting ready as though this is any other totally overhyped event, but in a lot of ways you can’t totally prepare for such a huge promotional buildup.” When reached for comment, 49ers coach Jim Harbaugh told reporters he is “relishing every moment” of the week-long Super Bowl hype after working his entire life to get to this level of attention.

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