adBlockCheck

Recent News

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
End Of Section
  • More News

'Please Don't Feed The Poor' Campaign Catching On

WASHINGTON, DC—Big-city mayors across the U.S. are hailing Congress' recently passed, $550 million "Please Don't Feed The Poor" public-awareness campaign as "a major step in the right direction." Said New York Mayor Rudolph Giuliani: "When well-meaning but misguided souls give money or food to the poor, it takes them out of their natural dumpster-scavenging patterns and upsets their delicate ecosystem." L.A. Mayor Richard Riordan agreed, saying, "It's important for people to know that feeding the poor ultimately does them more harm than good."

More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close