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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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Plot Of 'Midnight Run' Described At Length To Therapist

DULUTH, GA—Duluth resident Paul Bennett's aim to tackle unresolved emotional issues during a $110-per-hour session with his therapist Tuesday somehow digressed into an earnest recapping of the plot of the action-comedy film Midnight Run, sources reported. "So then there's this other bounty hunter, and he's also after Charles Grodin, except he's kind of dumb so they always outsmart him," said Bennett, providing a 20-minute synopsis of the sleeper-hit buddy-movie to his clinical psychologist. "There's this funny scene where Robert De Niro yells the guy's name and points behind him, and then the guy turns around and De Niro conks him over the head. Anyway, it's actually a really good movie." The Martin Brest–directed film was released in July 1988, nearly four years to the day after Bennett was first sexually molested by his older stepbrother, Neil.

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