adBlockCheck

Police

Horrifying Police Body Camera Footage Clearly Shows Current State Of America

CINCINNATI—Following a traffic stop earlier this month by a University of Cincinnati police officer that ended in the shooting death of an unarmed black motorist, authorities confirmed Thursday that the disturbing video recorded by the officer’s body camera clearly and graphically shows the current state of America.

Detective Not Sure He Was Close Enough To Partner To Endlessly Pursue Killer

DETROIT—After his partner of three years was gunned down last week while the pair were on duty, Detective David Killian of the Detroit Police Department’s Major Case Squad told reporters Wednesday he was unsure whether he had been close enough to his murdered colleague to single-mindedly pursue the killer for as long as it takes.

Neighborhood Busybody Reports Sound Of Gunshots

INDIANAPOLIS—Once again sticking her nose where it doesn’t belong, neighborhood busybody Sally Christensen, 54, reportedly took it upon herself to report the sound of gunshots to law enforcement early Tuesday morning, sources confirmed.

The Pros And Cons Of Body Cameras For Police

Following several high-profile civilian deaths at the hands of police officers, many Americans have called for the mandatory use of body cameras by law enforcement as a means of curbing the excessive use of force and providing clear accounts of officer...

Police Release Haircut-Progressed Photo Of Missing Woman

SYCAMORE, TX—Utilizing state-of-the-art imaging tools in an effort to spark renewed interest in the eight-month-old case, officials from the Sycamore Police Department released a haircut-progressed photo Wednesday showing how local woman Kelly Mance...

How Police Are Revamping Their Tactics

In the wake of widespread protests against police brutality and discrimination, law enforcement departments across the country are instituting new rules and policies to ensure safer practices.

Police Say Conditions Too Nippy To Rescue Missing Hiker

VAIL, CO—Noting that there was definitely a chill in the air, law enforcement officials confirmed Thursday that conditions were too nippy to continue search and rescue operations for Kyle Higgins, a 27-year-old hiker who has been missing for two day...

Police Pleasantly Surprised To Learn Man They Shot Was Armed

LEXINGTON, KY—Following a pedestrian stop Monday night during which they fired their weapons on a suspicious individual, patrol officers for the Fayette County Police Department were pleasantly surprised to discover the man they shot was armed, sour...

The Pros And Cons Of Militarizing The Police

The ongoing clashes between residents of Ferguson, MO and heavily armed police forces—which are equipped with M16 rifles and armored vehicles—have drawn attention to the increasing militarization of police in the United States.
End Of Section
  • More News

Police Officer Demonstrates Proper Technique For Subduing Grand Jury

NEW YORK—Saying that the maneuver was 100 percent effective if administered correctly, police captain Matthew Carlson demonstrated the proper technique for subduing a grand jury to a group of younger officers Thursday. “First and foremost, it’s important to get a strong, firm hold on the state-level district attorney’s office before you do anything else—that way, you’re making sure you never put yourself in any direct danger,” said Carlson, who explained a series of self-defense moves that would ensure grand jurors interpret the law in such a way as to give police the widest latitude in justifying the use of force, adding that performing the moves correctly would cause jurors to submit to the officer’s will “in no time at all.” “When you’re out there facing a prosecutor’s questions about whether you were acting lawfully and with discretion, you won’t have time to think. And that’s why it’s important that all of you master this technique now, because inevitably, many of you will find yourselves in a situation where you’ll need to call on this training. But used properly, these methods will stop any prosecution in its tracks well before there’s an indictment.” Carlson went on to stress that subduing a grand jury is a last-ditch option, and that officers should always try to thwart any investigation well before there are official proceedings.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close