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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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Police Release Michael Bay's Notebooks

Earlier today the LAPD made public these images of pages from Michael Bay's personal notebooks, which contain blueprints for Mr. Bay's numerous bizarre violence-fetish films such as "Bad Boys 2" and "Pearl Harbor."

According to criminologist Dr. Thomas Beke, the films reveal Bay has long-suffered from a number of disturbing psychiatric conditions.

"The focus on exploding buildings and car chases in these films shows a pathological lack of interest in human beings," Beke said. "People are but two-dimensional puppets in his orgies of violence. Furthermore, the stilted dialogue indicates Bay has likely never truly listened to another person talk, revealing he most likely also suffers from pathological narcissism."

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