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Politics

Robert Mueller Driving SUV 100 MPH Down Runway As Air Force One Narrowly Lifts Off

PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY, MD—Sending a pair of guards scrambling for safety as he gunned his black SUV through a chain-link gate and onto the tarmac, Robert Mueller, the former FBI director who was recently tapped to lead the ongoing investigation into the Trump campaign’s ties to Russia, chased Air Force One down the runway at Joint Base Andrews moments before takeoff, sources reported Tuesday.

Trump Asks Entire Senate To Clear Out Of Chamber So He Can Speak To Comey Alone

WASHINGTON—Entering through a side door and bidding the assembled legislators, congressional aides, and members of the media to give him a moment with the former FBI director, President Donald Trump reportedly asked the entire Senate to clear the chamber during James Comey’s testimony Thursday so he could speak to him alone.

A Timeline Of The Watergate Scandal

With the White House mired in controversy, comparisons to Washington’s most famous scandal have been common, if not always accurate. Forty-five years after the events leading to Nixon’s resignation, The Onion presents a detailed timeline of the Watergate scandal.
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Poll: 63% Of Americans Say They Have A Problem With A Mormon President Who Is Also Mitt Romney

WASHINGTON—A Gallup poll released Tuesday suggests voters are highly resistant to electing a Mormon who is Mitt Romney as president of the United States. "I'm already hesitant to vote for a Mormon, and I'm especially uncomfortable if that Mormon is Mitt Romney," said Wyoming voter Dale Butler, 63, adding that he needed only the slightest extra excuse not to vote for a Mormon candidate, and that the candidate in question being Mitt Romney “probably sealed the deal." "I don't expect anyone to be perfect, but in the end, I just don't think I can overlook the fact that someone is both a Mormon and Mitt Romney. Personally, that's just too much for me." The same poll revealed that voters were more than willing to overlook the serial philandering of a candidate who was not also Newt Gingrich.

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