adBlockCheck

Entertainment

Nation's Hardass Cops Finally Find Time To Play Games

In a sudden departure from their long-held stance of not being here to play games and not, in fact, having the time to play games, the nation’s hardass cops announced Wednesday they had finally carved out a couple hours during which games could be p...

Biggest Announcements From E3

Each June, E3, or The Electronic Entertainment Expo, hosts game developers showing off their latest products. Here are this year’s most exciting announcements:

‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Ringo Starr Announces 26th Beatles Album With New Backing Band

‘Moonbeam Sunday’ Slated For Release On June 16

LONDON—Excitedly informing fans that the iconic pop group was back with more original music, Ringo Starr announced Tuesday that on June 16 he would be releasing a 26th Beatles album titled ‘Moonbeam Sunday’ with an all-new backing band.
End Of Section
  • More News

Poll: 96% Of Bands Looking For Slightly Better Drummer

WASHINGTON—According to a Zogby poll released this week, 96 percent of rock groups across the nation are currently in search of a slightly better drummer. "Nearly all bands surveyed indicated that, while their current drummer could keep time and was 'pretty good,' they certainly wouldn't mind playing with someone who could handle quicker rhythms and maybe knew a few more beats," pollster Will Materson said. "Additionally, most bands seemed to indicate they would be open to any drummer who could just be a bit more versatile in general, like Adam, who is completely awesome but is currently playing with those other guys who let him sing lead on a couple songs." The poll also found that 72 percent of bands think it would be pretty cool to get a band member who could play piano on a few tracks.

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close