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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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Poll: 96% Of Bands Looking For Slightly Better Drummer

WASHINGTON—According to a Zogby poll released this week, 96 percent of rock groups across the nation are currently in search of a slightly better drummer. "Nearly all bands surveyed indicated that, while their current drummer could keep time and was 'pretty good,' they certainly wouldn't mind playing with someone who could handle quicker rhythms and maybe knew a few more beats," pollster Will Materson said. "Additionally, most bands seemed to indicate they would be open to any drummer who could just be a bit more versatile in general, like Adam, who is completely awesome but is currently playing with those other guys who let him sing lead on a couple songs." The poll also found that 72 percent of bands think it would be pretty cool to get a band member who could play piano on a few tracks.

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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

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