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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Nation Leery Of Very Odd Little Boy

WASHINGTON—Noting that there was something distinctly unnerving about his mannerisms, physical appearance, and overall demeanor, the nation confirmed Friday that it was leery of very odd 8-year-old Brendan Nault.

What You Need To Know About The Trump Administration’s Ties To Russia

New revelations from the U.S. intelligence community about potentially illegal communications between members of the Trump administration and Russian officials, which led to Michael Flynn resigning as national security advisor Monday, have increased calls for a wider investigation of Trump’s murky ties to Russia. Here’s what you need to know.

A Timeline Of Valentine’s Day History

Every February, people across the world engage in romantic traditions with their loved ones in celebration of Valentine’s Day. The Onion provides a timeline of the holiday’s inception and evolution:
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Poll: 98% Of People Picture Run-Down Strip Mall Parking Lot When Word 'America' Said

WASHINGTON DC— A new poll conducted by the Pew Research Center found that, when asked to provide their immediate reaction to the sound of the word “America,” 98 percent of respondents replied by describing the sight of a near-empty parking lot of a decrepit suburban strip mall on a late February afternoon. “We've found that in nearly all instances the image that comes to peoples' minds within milliseconds of the word ‘America’ being said is a small strip mall in northern Virginia, southern Missouri, or possibly somewhere outside of Indianapolis, featuring a checks cashed place, a cell-phone store, and an L.A. Tan with three customers inside,” said lead researcher Graham Tierney, adding that the identical tableau visualized by the vast majority of test subjects also included weeds growing through cracks in the asphalt, a Mountain Dew Code Red can rolling on the ground, and a grey overcast sky. “The lone variable we found was whether or not respondents also imagined a car idling while playing ‘Heaven’ by Los Lonely Boys with the windows down. Those subjects who did not imagine this element instead heard either the distant sound of a baby crying or the plaintive bark of a faraway dog.” Graham added that every single test subject became visibly downcast and requested that researchers not say that word to them again.

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Nation Leery Of Very Odd Little Boy

WASHINGTON—Noting that there was something distinctly unnerving about his mannerisms, physical appearance, and overall demeanor, the nation confirmed Friday that it was leery of very odd 8-year-old Brendan Nault.

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