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Poll Finds 68% Of Iowans Turned On By Knowledge Whole Nation Watching

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Election 2016

Michelle Obama: ‘Well, There Are 8 Years Of My Life I’ll Never Get Back’

PHILADELPHIA—Her face fixed in an expression of apathetic detachment as she took the stage Monday night to raucous cheers and applause, First Lady Michelle Obama reportedly began her address to the Democratic National Convention by exhaling audibly and remarking that she would never get the past eight years of her life back.

Revelations From The DNC Email Leak

Last week, WikiLeaks posted 20,000 email exchanges among DNC officials, the content of which led to DNC chair Debbie Wasserman Schultz’s resignation on the eve of the convention. Here are some of the key revelations from the leak

Trump Casually Informs Pence He Going To Make One Or Two Appearances During Speech

CLEVELAND—Pulling his running mate aside backstage at the Republican National Convention just minutes before the Indiana governor was scheduled to formally accept the party’s vice presidential nomination, GOP candidate Donald Trump casually informed Mike Pence that he would probably make one or two quick appearances during the Midwestern conservative’s headlining speech tonight.
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Poll Finds 68% Of Iowans Turned On By Knowledge Whole Nation Watching

DES MOINES, IA—With national media attention ramping up in preparation for next week’s Iowa caucuses, a poll released Monday by Drake University found that two-thirds of Iowans are turned on by the knowledge the whole country is watching them. “All those people staring at us, eagerly watching our every move, feasting their eyes on our polling data—it really gets me going,” said Des Moines public school teacher Ashley Tierney, echoing the sentiments of thousands of her fellow Iowans, who reported that the thought of so many Americans focused intently on their state engaging in the democratic process left them feeling exposed and violated, and that they enjoy it. “Just think of how many voters are looking at us right now, completely unable to participate in the caucuses themselves; they just have to sit there and watch. Mmm. Oh, my, I think I need to sit down.” A visibly flushed Tierney then bit her lower lip and told reporters she was excited to “put on a little show” for onlookers by doing something very naughty and voting against her personal interests.

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