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Politics

Revelations From Hillary Clinton’s New Memoir

‘What Happened,’ a new memoir detailing the trials and tribulations of Hillary Clinton’s 2016 campaign, was released today, with Clinton supporters and detractors already divided on its contents. Here are some of Hillary’s bombshell revelations:

Joe Arpaio’s Family Surprises Him With Detained Hispanic Motorist

FOUNTAIN HILLS, AZ—In celebration of the dismissal of his conviction for criminal contempt via presidential pardon, Joe Arpaio’s family reportedly sought to surprise the former sheriff Tuesday with a 30-year-old Mexican national whom they detained on suspicion of having entered the country illegally.
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Poll Finds Hillary Clinton Candidate Most Americans Want To Have 8-Ounce Glass Of Tap Water With

WASHINGTON—According to a Pew Research Center poll released Tuesday, the majority of registered voters in the U.S. chose Democratic frontrunner Hillary Clinton as the candidate they would most like to have an 8-ounce glass of tap water with. “Roughly 68 percent of the likely voters we surveyed said that among the current field of presidential hopefuls, they would prefer to drink a small paper cup of room-temperature water with Hillary Clinton,” said researcher Rachel Glenn, who added that both registered Democrats and Republicans said they could readily see themselves standing next to Clinton in front of a kitchen sink or beside a water cooler, with both nodding politely at each other’s pleasantries while they took sips from their respective cups. “Unlike a Donald Trump or a Chris Christie, Hillary Clinton is widely considered by Americans to be the kind of person they could spend a minute or so with until they finished their glass of water before quietly walking away. That quality isn’t something a candidate can just learn, but Clinton has it.” Glenn noted that this issue could be crucial when it comes time for Americans to resign themselves to one candidate in November.


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