Helpful Man Saves Woman Effort Of Telling Idea To Boss Herself

ATLANTA—In an unprompted act of generosity from one coworker to another, Spryte Logistics employee Ben Graham reportedly took the initiative to share one of Emily Fehrman’s ideas with their boss on Friday, saving her the time and effort of doing it herself.

Fisher-Price Releases New In Utero Fetal Activity Gym

EAST AURORA, NY—Touting it as the perfect tool for entertaining and stimulating the fetus during gestation, Fisher-Price announced the release Wednesday of a new in utero activity gym. “Whether they’re batting at the friendly toucans in order to harden their cartilage into bone or tapping the multicolored light-up palm tree to test out their sense of vision once their eyes open at 28 weeks, the Fisher-Price Rainforest Friends Prenatal Activity Gym is guaranteed to give your fetus a head start and keep it happy and occupied,” said director of marketing Kevin Goldbaum.

It Kind Of Sweet CEO Thinks He Doing Good Job

SEATTLE—Admitting that the sight of him laying out his vision for the company was pretty endearing, employees at Rainier Solutions reported Monday that it was kind of sweet that CEO Greg Warner thinks he is doing a good job.

How Obamacare Can Be Improved

With Aetna just the latest health insurance provider to opt out of covering Obamacare markets, many are wondering what changes can make the Affordable Care Act more appealing to customers and insurance companies. Here are some proposed improvements

How Internet Clickbait Works

Facebook and other sites have recently begun to fight back against “clickbait,” often misleading internet posts designed to be seen by as many readers as possible. The Onion breaks down the production and spread of this content

Home Depot Employee Can Tell This Customer’s First Attempt At Pipe Bomb

APPLETON, WI—Shaking his head Monday as the customer selected a length of plastic pipe over a stronger metal alternative and placed it into his shopping cart, local Home Depot sales associate Graham Warner, 57, was reportedly able to tell right away that this was the store patron’s first attempt at making a pipe bomb.
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Poll Finds Majority Of Americans Approve Of Child Labor Laws But Agree That Kids Carrying Briefcases Would Be Cute

WASHINGTON—Reflecting qualified support for legislation aimed at protecting minors, a Gallup poll released Wednesday found that while an overwhelming majority of Americans approve of child labor laws, most also said that kids carrying around briefcases would undeniably be cute. “When asked whether they support existing regulations that bar children under the age of 14 from employment, 94 percent of respondents agreed such laws were essential but also conceded that the idea of kids wearing oversize suits and holding make-believe business meetings would be just darling,” said lead researcher Michelle Valner, stressing that although Americans were almost unanimously tickled by the image of a giant boardroom table surrounded by kindergarteners whose tiny legs dangled from their too-big chairs, they remained steadfast in their support for laws that prevent them from being exploited. “Across all demographics, a 6-year-old taking the train to work with their little attaché case, taking off their tiny hat at the office, and pouring juice into their coffee mug would be the most precious thing ever if only we lived in a country with child labor, which nearly all those surveyed agreed was an abomination.” Valner went on to say that 71 percent of Americans, though grateful to live in a country where children were safeguarded, were hugely entertained by the thought of a little kid having to pack all of their action figures into a cardboard box after getting fired.

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