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Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.

Tide Debuts New Sour Apple Detergent Pods

CINCINNATI—Calling it the perfect choice for consumers looking to add some tartness to their laundry, Procter and Gamble on Tuesday unveiled a new sour apple Tide detergent pod.

The iPhone Turns 10

A decade ago today, Apple released the iPhone and revolutionized the way humans use technology. Here’s a look back at the evolution of the iPhone:

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.

Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

Helpful Man Saves Woman Effort Of Telling Idea To Boss Herself

ATLANTA—In an unprompted act of generosity from one coworker to another, Spryte Logistics employee Ben Graham reportedly took the initiative to share one of Emily Fehrman’s ideas with their boss on Friday, saving her the time and effort of doing it herself.
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Poll Finds Majority Of Americans Approve Of Child Labor Laws But Agree That Kids Carrying Briefcases Would Be Cute

WASHINGTON—Reflecting qualified support for legislation aimed at protecting minors, a Gallup poll released Wednesday found that while an overwhelming majority of Americans approve of child labor laws, most also said that kids carrying around briefcases would undeniably be cute. “When asked whether they support existing regulations that bar children under the age of 14 from employment, 94 percent of respondents agreed such laws were essential but also conceded that the idea of kids wearing oversize suits and holding make-believe business meetings would be just darling,” said lead researcher Michelle Valner, stressing that although Americans were almost unanimously tickled by the image of a giant boardroom table surrounded by kindergarteners whose tiny legs dangled from their too-big chairs, they remained steadfast in their support for laws that prevent them from being exploited. “Across all demographics, a 6-year-old taking the train to work with their little attaché case, taking off their tiny hat at the office, and pouring juice into their coffee mug would be the most precious thing ever if only we lived in a country with child labor, which nearly all those surveyed agreed was an abomination.” Valner went on to say that 71 percent of Americans, though grateful to live in a country where children were safeguarded, were hugely entertained by the thought of a little kid having to pack all of their action figures into a cardboard box after getting fired.

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Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.

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