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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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Poll: Majority Of Americans Still Remember Where They Were When Gandalf Fell Into Abyss

WASHINGTON—Stating that the extremely traumatic nature of the event appeared to have left many respondents with unusually strong and vivid memories, the Pew Research Center released a new poll Friday revealing that most Americans can still recall exactly where they were when Gandalf the Grey fell into the abyss at the Mines of Moria. “I distinctly remember my dad and I sitting in front of the living room TV as we watched Gandalf fall—I remember just staring in total shock,” said Peter Lee of Anaheim, CA, one of the 1,500 individuals surveyed for the poll, which found that many Americans possessed near-photographic memories of their precise location, who they were with, as well as the emotions experienced upon seeing Balrog wrap his fiery whip around Gandalf’s legs. “We couldn’t believe it was actually happening. That moment is seared into my brain. I’ll never forget watching Gandalf tumble down and say ‘Fly, you fools’ just before plummeting into the darkness. Things were never really the same again after that.” The poll also showed that many Americans later struggled to broach the subject of Gandalf falling into the bottomless pit with their young children.

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