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Biggest Announcements From E3

Each June, E3, or The Electronic Entertainment Expo, hosts game developers showing off their latest products. Here are this year’s most exciting announcements:

‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Ringo Starr Announces 26th Beatles Album With New Backing Band

‘Moonbeam Sunday’ Slated For Release On June 16

LONDON—Excitedly informing fans that the iconic pop group was back with more original music, Ringo Starr announced Tuesday that on June 16 he would be releasing a 26th Beatles album titled ‘Moonbeam Sunday’ with an all-new backing band.
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Poll: Majority Of Americans Still Remember Where They Were When Gandalf Fell Into Abyss

WASHINGTON—Stating that the extremely traumatic nature of the event appeared to have left many respondents with unusually strong and vivid memories, the Pew Research Center released a new poll Friday revealing that most Americans can still recall exactly where they were when Gandalf the Grey fell into the abyss at the Mines of Moria. “I distinctly remember my dad and I sitting in front of the living room TV as we watched Gandalf fall—I remember just staring in total shock,” said Peter Lee of Anaheim, CA, one of the 1,500 individuals surveyed for the poll, which found that many Americans possessed near-photographic memories of their precise location, who they were with, as well as the emotions experienced upon seeing Balrog wrap his fiery whip around Gandalf’s legs. “We couldn’t believe it was actually happening. That moment is seared into my brain. I’ll never forget watching Gandalf tumble down and say ‘Fly, you fools’ just before plummeting into the darkness. Things were never really the same again after that.” The poll also showed that many Americans later struggled to broach the subject of Gandalf falling into the bottomless pit with their young children.

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