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Revelations From Hillary Clinton’s New Memoir

‘What Happened,’ a new memoir detailing the trials and tribulations of Hillary Clinton’s 2016 campaign, was released today, with Clinton supporters and detractors already divided on its contents. Here are some of Hillary’s bombshell revelations:

Joe Arpaio’s Family Surprises Him With Detained Hispanic Motorist

FOUNTAIN HILLS, AZ—In celebration of the dismissal of his conviction for criminal contempt via presidential pardon, Joe Arpaio’s family reportedly sought to surprise the former sheriff Tuesday with a 30-year-old Mexican national whom they detained on suspicion of having entered the country illegally.
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Poll Reveals You Live In Country Where Mentally Ill Man Still Has Good Chance Of Being Senator

WASHINGTON—A new poll of the Missouri electorate reported this week that Sen. Claire McCaskill holds a tenuous lead in the state’s Senate race over Rep. Todd Akin, essentially revealing that you live in a nation where a man who is deeply and irrefutably mentally ill can nevertheless stand a solid chance of winning higher office. “Current data shows that, contrary to any conventional notions of human reason or logic, a man with a questionable grasp on reality is evidently quite able to attain a prominent government position in the nation you are a citizen of,” said researcher Donald Schur, noting that the man in question currently holds a one-percent lead, “yes, lead,” in several other similar election polls. “That’s right, you, the average citizen, live in a country where a human being deep in the throes of delusion can not only be elected to higher office on six prior occasions, but may in fact be voted into office again despite his psychological instability being put on full display in the most spectacular fashion imaginable. This is the place where you live, and work, and pay taxes.” Researchers also noted that, according to recent evidence, this kind of thing actually doesn’t surprise you too much anymore.

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Revelations From Hillary Clinton’s New Memoir

‘What Happened,’ a new memoir detailing the trials and tribulations of Hillary Clinton’s 2016 campaign, was released today, with Clinton supporters and detractors already divided on its contents. Here are some of Hillary’s bombshell revelations:

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