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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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Pony-Wanting Ron Artest To Be On Best Behavior Till Christmas

INDIANAPOLIS—Just over one year since Ron Artest climbed into the stands at the Palace of Auburn Hills and took a swing at a fan, resulting in a suspension, a fine, and an empty stocking, the Pacers forward said that he has learned from his mistakes, and knows that any misstep on or off the court during the 2005 holiday season could severely hurt his chances of getting that pony he's been asking for. "Last year, I let my emotions get the best of me—I let down my teammates, my fans, my family, myself, and Santa," Artest said. "Now that I know I'm being watched and scrutinized, I'm going to make an extra-special effort to be nice, whether it means keeping my temper in check during an in-game flare-up, or helping do chores around the house. It's the only way to earn back the respect I need to get Princess." Artest added that after Christmas, any critics, opponents, or fans "better be on their best behavior," as he is making a New Year's resolution to punch someone.

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