Pool Cues Go Unused In Disappointing Bar Fight

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Pool Cues Go Unused In Disappointing Bar Fight

SIOUX CITY, IA—Patrons of the Clover Leaf Tavern expressed dismay Saturday after a fight between Jeffrey Kline, 32, and James Dougherty, 30, ended without either participant breaking one of the establishment's numerous pool cues over the other's head.

"The whole thing was a big letdown," bartender Kurt Neelan said of the anticlimactic brawl, during which not one person present was thrown through a table or plate glass window, nor threatened with a beer bottle broken on the edge of the bar. "It was all over in about 30 seconds. The least you'd expect is for someone to get slid head-first down the length of the entire bar, or have their face rammed through the jukebox, prompting a wild honky-tonk song."

Witnesses were further dissatisfied later that evening when patron Carl Hume's car failed to explode after an inebriated Hume overturned the vehicle in an  attempt to jump a curb in the bar's parking lot.

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