Pool Owner Has Bathing Suit That Touched His Penis You Can Borrow

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Vol 49 Issue 30

Tall Women At Higher Risk For Cancer

According to a new study, tall postmenopausal women are more likely to develop cancer than shorter women, with researchers finding that every 4-inch increase in height correlated to a 13 percent higher risk of a variety of cancers.

Lincoln Memorial Vandalized With Green Paint

Police closed the Lincoln Memorial early today after discovering that vandals had splattered green paint along the base of the iconic statue of 16th president Abraham Lincoln, as well as on the monument’s marble floor.
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Pool Owner Has Bathing Suit That Touched His Penis You Can Borrow

CHERRY HILL, NJ—Upon learning that you cannot go swimming with everyone else because you left your bathing suit at home, local pool owner Gary McGill, 41, offered to loan you some swim trunks that have touched his penis countless times, sources confirmed Tuesday. “Oh, don’t worry about it—out in the pool house I’ve got an extra pair whose thin, absorbent netting has tightly cupped my genitalia on many occasions,” said McGill, adding that he had been lending the swimsuit out to guests all summer and that it was really no trouble at all. “Yep, go in there and look for the orange ones that always cling to my wet, bare ass and have to be peeled off when I’m done. They’ve been rubbing right up against my penis and the penises of several other people for the past two months. I’ll see you in the pool, buddy!” At press time, reports confirmed you had chosen to go swimming with your groin enmeshed in a garment full of someone else’s scrotal skin cells.

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