Pope Benedict Asks If It's Too Late To Change Name

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Vol 42 Issue 16

Many More Chernobyl Victims?

A new Greenpeace report argues that 10 times as many people died from the Chernobyl disaster than official estimates claimed at the time. What do...

TomKitten's Silent Birth

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes' daughter Suri was born Tuesday under Scientology's strict "silent birth" guidelines. What do you think?
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Man Commits To New TV Show Just Hours After Getting Out Of 7-Season Series

UNION CITY, NJ—Recommending that he give himself the chance to pause and explore the other options out there, friends of local man Jonathan Gember expressed their concerns to reporters Wednesday that the 29-year-old is already committing to a new television show just hours after getting out of a seven-season-long series.

Pope Benedict Asks If It's Too Late To Change Name

VATICAN CITY—Only a year after ascending to the papacy, Pope Benedict XVI is appealing the College of Cardinals for a name change. "Benedict is serviceable enough, but I did not consider the ease of it being shortened to 'Ben' by impudent dignitaries such as Bono, nor did I foresee the difficulties it would pose whenever I ordered eggs," the former Cardinal Ratzinger said Monday. "I obviously wouldn't go with John Paul or Pius. Boniface is a non-starter, but there is precedent for a Pope Lando, Corwin, or Marcellus." The pope admitted that when he chose his papal name he was mostly concerned with avoiding the nickname "Nazinger."
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