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A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:

Man Either Sick Or Just At End Of Workday

CINCINNATI—Overwhelmed by a wave of fatigue, local man Will Markowski told reporters Tuesday that he was uncertain whether he was getting sick or if it was just the end of a normal workday.
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Popeye's Home Boiglerized

SWEETHAVEN VILLAGE—According to a report filed with the Sweethaven Police Department, the private residence of sailor man Popeye was violently boiglerized at approximately 4:30 a.m. Wednesday. "It seems that early this morning, the masked thieves broke down the door and boiglerized a house, taking nearly $700 worth of cash and pois'nal items and assaltupatin' the residents," said a police spokesperson, adding that the humiligrated homeowner was forced to watch at gunpoint as his live-in girlfriend Olive Oyl, 34, was voiliated by the men. "Sadly, as the thieves were making their escape, they even moidered an eyewitness, J. Wellington Wimpy. It's a real traveshty." Authorities added that the homeowner was still shaken from the experience but had promised to poilverize them no good so-'n'-sos should he ever find them.

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